Thursday, April 2, 2009

Farewell, piercings...

A somewhat large part of my identity (sad) has been caught up in the fact that I have been, for nearly 5 years now, a multi-pierced man. On that fateful day in the spring of 2004, when the gentleman at the Michiana Tattoo Emporium ran a 12" needle through my eyebrow, my life changed forever.

And this past Monday, March 30th, I removed both my eyebrow and my cartilage piercings.

The reasoning was two-fold:
a) The pastor at my new parish requested that I remove my piercings before starting my c
urrent ministry job (more blogging on said ministry job to come later)
b) As I'm getting married in less than 4 months, I don't want to be "that weirdo husband/dad with the piercings"

And so, on this end of April Fool's 2009, I give you my Ode to Piercings (with memorable photos over our time together):

The Top Ten Reasons I'm Sad To Lose My Piercings

1. I've had a longer relationship with my piercings than I have with any lady, including my current fiancé. -->

2. I no longer have the chance to joke with the bored TSA workers at airport security about setting off the metal detector.

3. I'm sure somewhere, deep down, my parents will think that all of their reasoning against piercings finally sunk in, it just took 5 years. And that would just be too bad. :)

4. I no longer have the chance to explain to young and old alike my reasoning behind getting piercings. (In short, folks with piercings/tattoos are usually assumed to live a certain immoral lifestyle, so I'm attempting to run a "don't judge a book by its cover" campaign. Fundamental problem: I make lots of mistakes, so it ends up being somewhat hypocritical. Ah well, what can you do?)

5. I may miss my piercings enough to walk around like this:

6. Now I have nowhere to hang my car keys when my hands are full.

7. In the youth ministry world, it's one less gimmick that I have to make kids think that I'm actually cool and relatable. You
know, in the parishes I work at that are full of rich, white kids who don't have piercings anyway... Hmmm... At least I can still play guitar.

8. There's the off chance that Hair:Samson::Piercings:Pat.

9. No more awkward glances and questions from middle agers, like Tony, a staff member at a previous parish I worked at:

Tony: Can I just ask you one question about that thing?
(eyebrow ring)
Pat: Sure!
Tony: Does it go through the bone?

[note: It does NOT go through the bone!]

10. The words of Rita Rudner are no longer true for me: "I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."

Thanks for reading - feel free to follow if you like what you see! Peace y'all!

P.S. Upcoming posts...

- I finally finished Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged, and also found out that Alan Greenspan was a huge flunkie of Rand's. I can't WAIT for that post!
- Obama @ ND. I can't avoid it for much longer.
- Brand new youth ministry gig. Rockin' so far!

Now playing: Nickel Creek - Green And Gray
via FoxyTunes


ndchick1 said...

I removed my eyebrow piercing in June of 2008. We had been in a relationship for nearly 7 1/2 years. Twas a sad day. RIP pat's piercings.

3boysmom said...

Will the boys even recognize you???? ;) See, my tattoo is along the same lines as your piercings (the whole "don't judge a book" thing), but I can't remove that with ease... Good thinking on the removal before kids though. They would've made one heck of a "handle" to grab on to (as so many of my earrings and necklaces have been in the past).

St Bens said...

My boy is all growd up!! Does this mean you are no longer holy? (Get it? Holey! HAHAHA! I'm a dork.)

Becki said...

Top 5 Reasons why this post is a fallacy:

1. You have had a much longer relationship with me than with your piercing. As well as your mom and sisters. But ME...that's who's important. Hmph.

2. TSA workers are never bored. They love their jobs and execute them with the fullest alertness and honor.

3. Cutting your hair was indeed your downfall.

4. You can still explain to young and old alike your reasons behind still having a goatee in the 21st century.

5. It DOES go through the bone.

Don't worry, friend. SOME day I will agree with what you say here. Promise;) Thanks for the picture shout-out! Woo-hoooO!